Dear Mr. President,
The economy is in shambles and after getting my medical marijuana card. I listened to you address the nation on our economic future, needless to say your speech gave me a headache (and I like you). So in order to get rid of this migraine I decided to smoke up a little bit (okay maybe more than a little bit). So I took a puff and then looked at my joint (cause that's what you do when you get the really good stuff).
Then it hit me!!! We can create some jobs here: US farmers can grow marijuana, our factories will distribute the marijuana (in Detroit and Lansing we have a lot of abandoned warehouses and factories that are ready to be converted), gas stations and mom-and-pop shops (you may remember these places from the 80's) could sell them!!! SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF NEW JOBS AND NATIONAL INCOME!!
Now I know this appears to be a radical idea and this may be one that doesn't garner a lot of cross party support, but that never matters (see How to pass Healthcare Reform 2010 Instruction Manual).
I have heard people say, would I want my brain surgeon to be high. Truth be told, I don't want a brain surgeon!!!
Needless to say, I know there is a lot of concern being expressed that people will smoke medical marijuana on their lunch breaks return to work and do something that people normally do when they get high ie...think deeply, pay attention to detail and communicate (could be useful for today's workforce). And with 85 percent of the nation smoking marijuana anyway, does the other 15 percent think that no one is smoking marijuana on their lunch break now. If so, I have one suggestion for the other 15 percent: marijuana.
Mr. President, my joint just told me to tell you that the answer is in the weed. Think about it, we won't have to import it (so for once we won't owe another country money), we could stop this war on drugs and wage a full-fledged war on cancer.
Bin Laden may even turn himself in (last picture I saw of him showed him smoking what looked like marijuana to me. I read somewhere he's got bad kidneys and receives dialysis so I am thinking he probably smokes marijuana for medicinal purposes). But turning himself in now would be a horrible health move for him, seeing as medical marijuana is illegal in federal prisons and he will probably be in prison for at least 7 or 8 hours before we find him guilty, sentence him to death by explosion and blow his a$$ up. Sorry, (excuse the language, I'm a patriot and that &*&^# brings that out in me). Now during his 8 hour prison stay he will undoubtedly need "his medicine", which we will gladly give him because we do not torture our prisoners.
Mr. President, these are just some things to ponder. Medical marijuana is legal in DC, so get some and think this over. Meet me in Flint (I have my medical marijuana card in Michigan) and we can talk this over while sharing a bag of Doritos.
Sincerely,
Medical Mike Anderson aka MMA
P.S. I know you are busy and probably don't have a lot of time in your day to read my letter, that is why I kept this one short. I figured it'd take 5 minutes for a brilliant man like yourself, you can steal the five minutes the next time that you step outside of the Oval Office for your cigarette break ;)
Obama/McCain 2012
Medical Marijuana/United States 2010
